"Step Over The Edge" -- ENGLISH (EN) Subtitles Subtitles for: "IcStepOverTheEdgeEN.---" www.intercommedia.org -and-|www.creationism.org/videos/ "Ken Anderson Films" Presents|(Distributed by "InterComm Media") Step Over The Edge My diary began with a grudge, a half-hearted smile, and a broken pencil. I had never written a diary before. How many guys do? At first, I scribbled down general descriptions of the landscape, and our activities. But gradually, I began to turn inward. I began to examine me. Once inside, where I could face my own motivations and failures. I realized how shallow I had become. August 25th - I was awakened by the music of wind and waves. The sheer beauty of everything around me caused my inward thoughts ... to culminate in a silent prayer to God. All too often in the past, I have confused fellowship with worship. But being isolated in the wilderness, I found the real meaning ... of a personal relationship with the Lord. ... Who am I? Where am I going? Why am I here? Living on this kind of gut level forces the true colors ... out of a person, and I'm discovering that my colors ... aren't the colors of a true Christian. Step Over The Edge This movie is based on actual journals and activities of the ... ... Wheaton College Men's and Women's Outdoor Schools, ... ... merged for the purpose of this dramatization, which is not a documentary. I guess the best place to start would be at the beginning. It was on a bus, heading for northern Wisconsin, where I'd take part in a - Camping Wilderness Program. I've said a fond goodbye to family and friends, and a reluctant hello to the good old outdoors, and ten total strangers. ... Is this supposed to be the camp? ... We probably have to decide where to go for ourselves. ... What are we going to do here? ... This is really strange. ... How are we going to get our luggage? Yeeeeeeeeee-ha! ... Howdy! What are we supposed to do now? ... I don't know. ... Looks like our leaders. ... How are you doing? ... Hi! Well, let's get going. ... We've got a short little jog ahead of us. Short - but interesting! ... We'll show you some beautiful scenery on the way! Get the boat! Don't laugh at me! Wait! Let's go! Let's go! Okay, ... I suppose the first question you have ... is why we took the scenic route today, right? By going through that swamp, you guys have made a type of commitment, a commitment to the next 3 weeks of this program. Commitment? You've got to be kidding! How can you measure commitment by tearing through a swamp? Commitment is individual, personal, not dictated by some activities leader. Now, you're going to start to run into some problems. Problems that, ... that mom and dad, or, even your checkbook can't help you out with. But that's the purpose of this program ... to help you mature. Now, you're going to be spending a lot of time in self-examination, looking inside yourself, to find out what makes you tick. Where your strengths are, where your weaknesses are, and how to handle them. By the time you're through with the program, well, it's our desire that you become a more total person, a more complete individual. This program is a challenge. Now, there's going to be lots of times - well - some times with pain and fatigue. Times when you just feel like you want to quit. Just throw the whole thing away. But remember, too, that there's going to be some times of great joy. And those are worth waiting for. When this program was started, it was started with love. The kind of love that realizes how important it is to help you get out of ... ... the affluence and the materialism of our society. Get you outdoors to apply yourself to the basics. That's going to include food, too, I'm afraid. You're going to find your food is going to be a bit limited. And Ernie, that means your candy bars too. They're gonna have to be out - for the next 3 weeks. Okay, why don't we call it a night, tonight. We've got to get up early in the morning for a good start. Amen! Come on! You can make 10. All right again! ... slower. Isn't 9 enough? ... Pull! ... Come on, gang! Hold it! All right. Down. Easy! ... Let it down easy. Okay. ... Easy ... Slow it up. All right - pull. ... Slow, okay ... Pull! I wonder how many we can do? ... Hold it! All right, down. Down fast until the end. Slow her up! Slow her up! Don't let it crash! ... Last week at this time - I slept until noon. Having taken our watches away, they got us up at sunrise. It was time for what they called personal and group initiative. Meal times aren't any better. Both the food and the conversation leave a lot to be desired. Come on. ... Food's ready. Hey. All right. ... Hold your horses! ... What have we here? Maybe we should pray? ... Why bother? Amen. Hey - is it chicken? That isn't chicken. No way. How did you ever get it to lay down long enough to cook it? Ernie, what is that? "Spam legs." I formed it into chicken legs around tree branches. Looks like that dead animal carcass we saw outside of camp this morning. They don't look so bad. We'd better eat them; this is all we're getting. I suppose you formed them with your own 2 little hands. Yep. Thanks, but no thanks. I'll try to find something else to eat. But I washed my hands. Hello, ... pizza house? I'd like to place a take-out order. They don't look that bad, Ernie. Well, I don't think the flies seem to mind them too much. It wasn't long before I started climbing the walls, literally. 14 feet (4 meters) of smooth pine, with nothing to help us over but each other. Which, when I thought about our little crew, still added up to nothing. I began to realize just what kind of kids ... I was going to be spending the next 3 weeks with. First, there were the girls. Tiffany, cute, with a permanent set of the giggles. All she needs now is some brains. Ellen, keeps saying she feels inferior; and for once in her life, she's right. Kerry, the self-appointed "den mother" to our group. Always busy handling everyone else's problems but her own. And finally, our resident cheerleader, winner of the "Miss Popularity" award, Jennifer. As for the guys, there's some hope with Mike. He's coordinated at least, if he can just cut the comedy. Jed is funny man #2. He's okay, but he'd rather sleep than anything else. Loser #1 is CJ, a real mamma's boy. It's a wonder he can tie his own shoes. Loser #2 is Ernie. Big, dumb, and like CJ, filled to the top with self-pity. What a mess! 3 losers, 3 clowns, a mother hen, and a pom-pom girl. Well, I guess somebody's got to lead this pack, and I'm elected. We have to get one up first. It's going to take us all. All right, all right. Are you strong enough to be on the bottom? Yeah, sure. Okay. I've done all of this before ... backpacking, camping .... But I can't see what it has to do with anything spiritual. And I can't pretend to have feelings for these kids that I don't have. A happy-go-lucky group that never faces their true feelings about each other ... is not my idea of testing values and reaching maturity. I thought we were supposed to be really getting into God's Word. Well, you can't get into God with a good time. If this - special camping program - is Your will, I'll do it, Lord. But I reserve the right to feel about it as I wish. August 12th - After another one of these small breakfasts, we set out in canoes ... early in the morning in search of the rapids. It will be an experience I will long remember. CJ, you coming? I just want to finish this chapter. All right, I'll meet you down there. Well look, I don't want him either. Hey, look who's coming Hey guys, I'm ready. Oh wow, come on. We've got to make some decision. Let's flip a coin. ... Well, who's got a coin? Come on, CJ. Let's go. I'll tell you what, let's do this. I'll put the rock in my hand. If you can guess which hand I've got the rock in, then I'll take him. Otherwise, you get him. ... Okay, good. That one. ... You lose. Morning, guys. ... Hi Ellen. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Jenny? ... What? Are you feeling okay? ... Yeah. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? No, go ahead. What's it like to be popular? You have friends. Yeah, but my mom never let me wear much make-up. I never get invited to parties. I just ... feel left out. Ellen, I ... You know, one thing I always prayed for was to be popular. What are you doing, Ernie? I'm sorry. ... You're sorry!? Just having some fun. Ernie, fun is not ramming canoes on the river, okay? We'll get it. ... Do you mind getting my paddle? We'll get it, Trevor. ... Got it? ... Yeah, we'll get it. Ernie, can't you do anything right? Well, Trevor, how is a guy supposed to improve ... if people are putting him down all the time? All right. You want to know what's wrong? I'm going to tell you what's wrong. Some people use their God-given abilities. You use your own personal weaknesses. You use them as a crutch. Well, how am I supposed to use my abilities, if I'm being judged by others all the time? And whose fault is that, Ernie? Well, I'm not Trevor Thomas. I'm not Mike Guthrie. I'm me - Ernie Strasberg. You're not telling me anything, Ernie. Where's the hope for being a Christian, if your own brothers in Christ can't accept you for being a human being? I don't want to talk about it any more. Okay? Trevor, can I talk to you? Well, I really was going ... Don't, Trevor. Don't go, okay? I've been wanting to talk to you for a long time. Okay. You're sort of aloof. The kids in high school used to say that. Huh! Oh really? See, what it is - it's confidence. I have it. Some of these kids here could use it. I don't want to put a dent in your confidence, but don't you think it's our responsibility to encourage them? What happens if we encourage them to become something they're not? I guess I was thinking more in terms of Christian love. Nope. ... What?! I said, no. ... I can't accept the fact that what we need here is love. You start thinking that way, and ... and this whole thing will digress into some little feel-good church social. ... Spiritual growth, in my book, is when everyone concerned pulls their own weight. But sometimes our brothers in Christ need encouragement. How? By feeling sorry for people, who don't even try? But Ernie and Ellen are trying. So is CJ. And all they're getting for their efforts is ridicule! I've heard it among the girls... -That's precisely what I mean! I mean, what do they think life is going to be like? If they can't make it here, they're never going to make it in the real world. It's that simple. I was just reading in Acts, in the Bible, this morning, that part of being really Christian is to help those who are weak. All Christianity needs is to have more incompetent people ... elevated to positions they weren't meant to have. I mean, the church is full of people who - who'd be better off sweeping the nursery floor, than holding down jobs they can't handle. I don't want to discuss your personal grudges with Christianity. I simply want you to reach out with a little concern for 3 people, one especially, who don't have your confidence, and - thank God! - your ego. My ego? ... Yes, your ego, you big clown. You know, ... this is the first time ... ... that I've gotten to talk to anybody since I've been on this trip. I know. ... Feels kind of good, if you know what I mean. I'm sure Ernie would feel the same way, if someone would talk to him. Cute ... cute. Clever, in fact, but, No. The trouble with you, Trevor Thomas, is you haven't the capacity to care! Okay, look. It's no problem. We skip these falls, we drop in there, and we shoot the center rapids. I don't know, Trevor. It doesn't look very safe. We'll kill ourselves. ... No, you're not going to kill yourselves. We've got life preservers on. We've been canoeing all day. I mean, this is what we've been trying to find is white water. Now we've found it. You don't want to back out now. Where do you suggest we put in? Down there by that pool. Couldn't we portage over it? If we portage over these, then we're going to start portaging over every rapid we come to. I don't want to carry my canoe all the way back. I want to canoe it. Are you sure it's safe? No problem. All right? ... All right, CJ will do it. Now come on, what do you say? Let's do it, all right? No sweat. You all right? ... You okay? ... CJ! Stay in your canoe! Stay in there! Ernie, nice job. Really nice job. Thanks, Trevor. That was scary. ... Good work. I brought some water. I thought maybe we could have something hot to drink. Yeah, ... fine. Mike, can I talk to you? CJ, I really don't feel like talking. I just wanted to say that, well, I'm sorry for what happened on the river today. I'm going to bed. Look, CJ. We lost our food. We don't get any new provisions until tomorrow night. If it hadn't been for Ernie, Tiffany would have gone down the rapids. Mike, it's never an easy thing to say that you're sorry. You know, your only problem is CJ, that people forgive you too easily. It's one thing to forgive sin. It's another thing to forgive stupidity. All I'm asking is that ... You've been pampered all your life, and now you want everybody to feel sorry for you. That's not true. The next thing you're going to do is run home to your mother. Mike, if your father were dead, who would you go to? I didn't mean it like that. All right. Everybody take five. How are you doing, Trevor? ... Good. Little tired, but at least we're dry today, right? Yeah. I didn't get a chance to ask you ... what you thought about the rapids yesterday. All right. I mean it was a little too rough and rocky, ... especially for some of the inexperienced ones, but all right. You know, we could have gone another way. We could have portaged. Yeah, I know. We talked about it ... but decided to go through. Was it a group decision? I mean, it looked to me like you kind of pushed for what you wanted. No, it was a group decision. I mean, I was leading that day and ... ... you know, I put in my opinion, but we all decided. So you don't feel any type of responsibility about what happened or anything? No. Why should I? Besides, everybody had the same chance. I made it. So did CJ, until he blew it. Well, that's CJ. How's that? ... How's what? What do you mean, "That's CJ?" He's been pulling stunts like that this whole trip. Walks around with his nose in his Bible, and his mind on ... ... on everything but what it's supposed to be on. He's just a loser. It's that simple. Seems to me you felt the same way about Ernie ... ... before the rapids yesterday. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. And he's changed that much in one day? Yeah. Yeah, I mean he did something. You know - he saved Tiffany from going over the falls. He proved himself. It's a lot more than CJ's done. It's a lot more than CJ's ever going to do. ... Excuse me. Let's check this one first. ... This is it, huh? ... Well, I don't know. Yeah, is this where we are going to sleep tonight? That's where you're wrong. Yeah, there are more over there. Well, let's go look at those. ... Let's check them out. Hey, I think I've got it. Yayy!! Yes! ... Oh, look! What's the rope for? ... It's for you. Eat up. Oh look! ... Corn, oatmeal, oh. ... Yes! Instant breakfast! Tomorrow - the beef stroganoff! Come on, let's sort it out. Somebody go make a campfire. ... Toilet paper, okay. ... And let's eat. ... One for me. ... Cheerios! ... Two for me. . .One for you. All right. Come on, help me get this lid back on. Let's take it outside. Oh, wow! ... Look at that view. ... Isn't that pretty? So, let's stop here and camp. ... Oh, look! Beautiful! Hey, can we stay here tonight? ... That's nice. ... That's what I said. What a view! ... This is all right, this is all right. Hey Trevor, not too close to the edge. We'll get a chance at that tomorrow. Oh yeah? What's that supposed to mean. Chance at what? ... You'll find out. They're going to throw you off! ... You'll find out. You'll find out. ... Thy loving-kindness is better than life. My lips shall praise Thee, ... ... thus will I bless Thee. I will lift up my hands unto Thy Name. Does anybody want to take some time for some prayer? Oh Father, I feel so close to You up here. It just makes me realize that when there are times when I feel far away, it isn't You who's moved, God. It's me. Thank You for loving each one of us so much. And for making me realize through this that there are no greater, or lesser members of the Body of Christ. But that we need each other. Amen. ... How many of you guys know what repelling is? Yeah, I do. Well, what it is - is going over that cliff over there, with a few ropes. Who's going over? ... We are going over that cliff. Yeah, you're right. ... It's safe. It really is. As long as you can put your trust in the guy holding the ropes. And that's what repelling is all about. It's an agreement between two people. The guy holding the ropes. Now he's called the belayer. And the person repelling. That's the person that's going down the cliff. ... Well, the second you say "Belay on!", a contract's formed, ... ... between: the belayer and the repeller. And that contract's not to be broken until you say, "Belay off." And that's when you reach the bottom. I think what that illustrates in our lives as Christians is pretty obvious. Now, you may feel some fear when you go over there. But remember that it is safe, and you're each going to be responsible for each other. And that's all a part of what this group is about. Trusting each other, and being responsible for each other. I'm having trouble with this rope! Okay, you got it. That's the hardest part. Okay, if you slacken up on your right hand, you'll drop quicker. That's it, good. The further out you hold your right arm, the faster you'll go. Good, good! Like this? ... That's right. Repelling ...? ... Repel on. Help! ... Ohhhhhh. All right, CJ, you're next. ... Tie in. Up, around, and through. Tighten it off. Tighten it off, you pull it through like this; now you grip. Grab onto that. All right, now pull. Again. All right, now tie this off. Okay, you all set? ... Remember how this goes in? Hmmm. Yeah. ... Okay? ... Yeah. And you slip that through like this. CJ, you forgot a call. Oh, uh. ... What is this rope? Uh ... "On belay" No, "Belay on." Now, how do you brake yourself? Yeah, right. Right into the middle. And when you want to go faster, ... you just let your arm out. ... Okay. Okay. You're all set. What's the call, CJ? ... Uh, Rep-repelling? ... No, "Repel on." Just watch it. You're doing fine. Okay, now lean back into it. That's it, good. Okay, just keep walking. You got it. Great. Just inch your way over. Fine, you're fine. ... I don't think I can make it. Okay, you're just about there. Keep going. ... What do you mean? You can't make it? Of course you can make it, CJ. Come on! ... Lean back a little. ... ... I can't! Yes you can. Now, move back a little farther. ... You're almost there, CJ. ... Meathead can't cut it. ... Even the girls made it, CJ! I can't make it. I just can't! ... Put your foot down. Your left foot, okay. Great. Inch your way down. You got it, no sweat. ... I can't! ... What are you going to do, quit? Hey, will you just stop it? Okay, why don't you take a couple minute break and watch. Watch somebody else do it, all right? CJ, what did you come on this trip for? Your mother want to get you out of the house? ... Please don't, Trevor. Maybe she didn't like you around, either. ... Don't. You know, guys like you make me want to throw up! I mean, you set Christianity back 50 years! You are a man, CJ, in case you haven't found out by now! That was cruel, Trevor. You don't realize it, do you? Come off it, will you? You've been on my back this whole trip. All he wanted was a little encouragement. But all you did was write him off with some garbage about being a man. Look, he could have made it if he'd tried. Stop judging everyone else by your standards! People don't have to be like Trevor Thomas to be accepted. In fact, they shouldn't be! I mean, you call yourself a Christian, but your spiritual life is a void. I've watched your cruelty, and your ego. You're empty, and I can't help you! You can't even help yourself! Good. All right, good. You are there now. Nice! Good work! ... Off belay! Hey, Ernie. Where's CJ? ... I don't know. I thought he came with you guys. ... I haven't seen him since the cliff. He must be too ashamed to come into camp. We'd better go look for him. Okay. Hey, have you guys seen CJ? ... No. No. I thought he was with the girls. ... Nobody's seen him since the cliff. I suppose you think that's my fault. ... I'm not blaming you. I just think somebody should go look for him. ... All right. Listen, Ernie. We're going to have to split up. I'll cut over about 100 yards, and then we'll both head north, all right? ... Okay! CJ! ... CJ! ... CJ! ... Hey, Trevor! ... Ernie! Come on down. Have you seen anything? ... No. Let's go over here. CJ! ... CJ! ... It's not time to be solo yet, CJ. Huh! You don't even have your whistle with you. I'm surprised you cared enough to look. Look, why don't we talk about this when we get back to camp, okay? ... CJ? I never realized till today just how much you don't like me. You don't even like Ernie. I do like you. ... You never liked him until after the rapids. Look, what are we going to do, stand out here in the rain and discuss - who likes who? Ernie had to prove himself - to be a useful member of the gang. Do you know what he's talking about? ... I know what you're talking about, CJ. Come on, what is this? ... I'm afraid he's right, Trevor. All right, all right. I admit, I don't like failure. What you mean is, you don't like people who fail. Okay, I don't like quitters. And that's what you both struck me as being. If someone cared, or loved us a little more, and criticized just us a little less ... No, I won't accept that. ... Trevor, what's it like to be blind? You are the blindest Christian I know. I mean, the Christian life's not some lousy football game ... where you bench the weaker brothers just because they don't tackle problems ... the way you do. ... And it's not an escape from reality, either. We're not saying that it is. But our whole lives are shaped by people who love us, or who refuse to love us. No. No. No. ... Your whole life is shaped by what you do. I mean, figuring out your own faults, and your own weaknesses, and then fixing those. I mean, that's something I can't do anything about. Did it ever occur to you that the faults that are so obvious in us ... may be only half as big as the ones that you're hiding in yourself? Come on, let's go. Everything that's been happening to you guys for the last couple of weeks ... is to prepare you for the next 3 days. We call the time "solo", because you're going to be by yourself. And nobody is going to be around. You're going to be by yourself to think, and to pray, and to read your Bibles. Now, you're not going to have any food for the next 3 days. And as far as gear and equipment, you'll just take along the bare minimum, that's all. But, you'll have your journal, your Bible, and you'll have your thoughts. You see, the whole idea about solo is to be by yourself, and alone. To begin putting it all together for yourself; to think back about the last couple weeks. To think about what you've done, or what you haven't done. To begin asking yourself, questions like: Who am I? What are my goals? ... My ambitions? What's my relationship with the Lord like? ... How well do we communicate? And ... if I have learned anything these last couple weeks, how can I begin applying it to the real world out there? Hey, this is going to be your time. All to yourself. Do what you want. ... Just you and the Lord. Trevor. You know, no matter how right, or how wrong we think we've been treated, a Christian never has the right to act the way I did up there on the cliff. If I want to get anything from the Lord out of solo, I just wanted to make amends. I'm really sorry, Trevor. ... Will our worlds ever be the same? Yours is so big, and yet I'm a part of it. Mine is so small, yet I leave you out of it. Will our worlds ever be the same? Will our worlds ever be the same, will they ever be the same? ... ... Lord, I see creation's harmony. Every small part, it all fits together, except in my heart, oh Lord, make it better. Will our worlds ever be the same? Will our worlds ever be the same, will they ever be the same? ... Will our worlds, Lord, will they ever be the same? ... Make our worlds, make our worlds the same. Will our worlds ever be the same? Will they ever, ever be the same? ... My diary is filled with thoughts and feelings that I never knew existed ... or at least never paid any attention to. Alone and stripped of life's luxuries, I began to turn inward. I began to examine me. It's one thing to be athletic and successful, but it's quite different to think you have everything, when you really don't have anything at all ... at least, not without God, Jesus Christ. ... Will our worlds, Lord, will they ever be the same? Make our world, make our worlds the same. Will our worlds ever be the same? Will they ever, ever be the same? ... Well, what did you think? ... It was great. ...really good. Great? ... You just spent 3 days out there, was it worth it? ... Yeah. You know, in the last 3 weeks, we've all learned a lot. I think, you know, we've learned so much as individuals, but I think that as a group too, we've learned a lot. Sharing what we've learned, and how to work together as a group. And I think it would really be nice if we could all share with each other ... the things that we learned - that you learned, on solo. Well, the 3 days helped me to realize that failure isn't a weakness. And it isn't something to be ashamed of, but it's a tool that ... God can use in my life to help me to learn lessons, and to give me confidence. Well, being by myself for so long, I started looking at myself how God looks at me, instead of compared to others. And I'm realizing that God made me special. And it doesn't matter so much if people like me or how I am compared to them. Because God loves me. And I can really love and help other people, because He loves me, and that's enough. I have to say that, well, you know, after the first day there wasn't a lot to do, you know. It took me almost the whole first day ... just to get everything built and put together. But after that I had, you know, two good days of no place to go, no appointments to meet, you know, nothing planned, but just having to sit there. No one to talk to, or perform for - or joke with ... just me - and God. It was really something, because I learned ... that I've been moving so quick that it's been difficult ... for the Lord to talk to me, you know? And for me to listen, for me to hear anything when He did talk. And ... I'm glad He slowed me down this way, instead of ... ... maybe some other way to have to talk to me. And I think I've just realized that I'm going to have to listen if I want some ... ... some answers, and some changes. And if I want for Him to work some real miracles in my life. Well, when I was reading through the Old Testament, the Lord showed me how I'd kind of been like Jonah. I'd given a lot of problems to the gang, and I'd run away from some pretty big challenges, and I'd gone off and sulked. But He took those 3 days, and He showed me ... that I can never realize my full potential for Him ... unless I have an honest relationship with Jesus. I guess I'd like to say, ... first of all, ... that well, something akin to an apology to all of you, for ... the problems, and the ... ... the pain I've caused just about all of you. Someone ... someone here told me that I was cruel, and that I wasn't even aware of it, ... and they were right. While I was on solo, ... I finally realized that ... ... that I don't have to prove myself to anyone, and that certainly no one else does. That God accepts all of us the way we are, and that I have to accept everyone else the way they are, and certainly, to accept myself. It's funny that ... that God would use someone like Ernie, and CJ, ... to show me my own shortcomings, and my own faults, and my own weaknesses, so that I could accept those in other people. If I've learned here, it's that I still have a long, long way to go. ... Luke 5:16 "And Jesus withdrew himself into the wilderness, and prayed" ... THE END --- "Step Over The Edge" Visit: www.intercommedia.org -and- www.creationism.org